Masonry:The illuminated Darkness

I read alot about free masonry lately.Since im a really curious person i read every single thing on internet and i asked many people in my life.My own uncle had a mason uncle who invited him to their club,but he believes that masons are just a bussiness group.Another friend of mine who is wiccan,claims that masons are brothers in beliefs since they are also a different kind of satan worshippers.Free masonry is so famous in united states of america,and that is normal if you think that USA was built by masons,like their first president George Washington.But free masonry not only takes place in usa but in europe too with elder(mother) masonic hall(temple) bein built in United kingdom.Free masonry is said to have been started from 16th-17th century but i believe its way older,and these centuries are only when they were discovered by common "mortals".Finally masons use magic rituals and have 32-33 degrees(titles) but i also believe they are a lot more,since not even the members know about their elders,old members and the men who are behind he organisation.Their main symbolic buildings are obeliscs and pyramid.You can see those symbols in buildings around u and most of company symbols like banks etc
People have a lot of conspiracy theories according to masons and the most famous of them is the one named, "the new world order".New world order is reffered to to a new period of history evidencing a dramatic change in world political thought and the balance of power after World War I and World War II.
Many apocalyptic millenial christian eschatologists,have feared a globalist conspiracy to impose a tyrannical New World Order as the fulfillment of prophecies about the "end time" in the Bible,  asserting that people who have made a deal with the Devil to gain wealth and power have become pawns in a supernatural chess game to move humanity into accepting a utopian world government, which rests on the spiritual foundations of a syncretic-messianic world religion, that will later reveal itself to be a dystopian world empire, which imposes the imperial cult of an “Unholy Trinity” — Satan, the Antichrist and the False prophet. In many contemporary Christian conspiracy theories, the False Prophet will either be the last pope of the Catholic church (groomed and installed by an Alta Vendita or Jesuit conspiracy) or a guru from the New Age movement or even the leader of an elite fundamentalist Christian organization like the Fellowship, while the Antichrist will either be the president of the European union or the secretary-general of the United Nations or even the caliph of a pan-islamic state.
Another conspiracy sub tree theory of the new world order says that Illuminati are a sub group of masons,maybe called rose-cross(?).Finally The Protocols of the Elders of Zion  mention many things about masons playing a very serious and big role for world dominion along with jews.
Still many questions still exist according to that topic.
1)Why masons are so secretive and hidden?
2)Why while they claim to be religion free do they use magic rituals?
3)Why they have always powerful member who rule the world?
4)Is Project Blue Beam another weapon they have?
5)Is Astana their secret capital city?

Diary entry 4:Memories of the past

Memories are the most important experience in a man's life.The bigger the number you collected,the more wise you are.
This last year,it was a period collecting mine,and i feel wiser now and stronger.I cant hide you i met love,i was betrayed,i was broken and felt despair.I am not sure if i ever can have someone to love me eternally with no regrets,since i have the curse of the vampire,cursed to be alone and walk in the road of eternity with no salvation.Maybe the only sanctuary is death since love turns its back on me?Maybe patience is the best friend and i should listen?I cant know.All i know is that my heart is not cold yet,and from my experiences it has many wounds.These wounds thought will be cured with new memories and people in my life.Theres hope.I hope it wont be killed in time and i remain empty.
I hope the ice melts with the love that burns like sun.This will lead either to a happy ending or another memory of pain that will make me stronger.Who knows?All we know is that it wont kill me.Memories are my weapon,a dangerous lethal one.May we all be blessed to feel joy...